The Cincinnati Zoo used the money they were supposed to buy a gorilla with to purchase a chocolate fountain for their employee break room. Abraham was Harambe, Goliath was King Kong, and Jesus is Koko, the gorilla that uses sign language in order to make sure it doesn’t get crucified again.Ĭonspiracy Claim: There never was a Harambe. Harambe was Abraham reincarnated in gorilla form, proving that all-important people from the Bible come back in some form as a gorilla. What one must realize is that HARAMBE is an anagram for ABREHAM, the true spelling of Abraham, the Biblical figure who was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac to show his faith in God. Rebunking Claim: The Book of Revelation is a Biblical red herring when dealing with Harambe. That is utter nonsense based on not a single fact other than Harambe’s name is seven letters long, which is inexplicably true. The fact that H-A-R-A-M-B-E is also seven letters long proves that the Apocalypse is near.ĭebunking Claim: No. Thus, Harambe is one of the seven spiritual figures spoken of in the Book of Revelation. One of these is a “dragon,” a term used in Biblical times to describe various unknown creatures, the noble gorilla being one of them. Check out Harambewatch on NBC every Thursday night at 9:00 PM EST/8:00 PM CST.Ĭonspiracy Claim: The Biblical Book of Revelation details the end of the world involving seven spiritual figures. So they hired a very talented three-year-old child actor to “fall” into the enclosure, and now have the publicity only killing a gorilla can get you. After multiple failed attempts at killing David Hasselhoff, NBC determined killing a gorilla would be easier. After middling reviews from test audiences, the network knew that unless they could stir up some buzz for show, it was doomed to suffer the same fate of the cancelled Seinfeld spinoff, Newman’s Own: Mailman Detective. Unbeknownst to most, Harambe was part of an ensemble cast for a new Harambe-based Baywatch reboot for NBC, Harambewatch. Rebunking Claim: Harambe’s death was certainly a publicity move, but not for the ever-successful Cincinnati Zoo. A zoo would never cause one of its animals harm to increase its income. The main focus of zoos is to take care of their animals and educate the public, not to make money. The media storm surrounding the story has provided amazing advertising and brought the Zoo millions of dollars.ĭebunking Claim: No. Of course, Trump just had to take it one step farther…Ĭonspiracy Claim: Harambe’s death was just a means for publicizing the struggling Cincinnati Zoo. The crack of that rifle stirred Americans’ belief in their Second Amendment rights and gave a surge of approval for the Republican Presidential candidate. An American who had the most to gain from glorifying a zookeeper’s rifle saving a child’s life: Donald Trump. An American orchestrated the whole ordeal. Regardless, it wasn’t a foreign power that brought about Harambe’s shooting. Actually, whatever your thoughts on Harambe’s death may be, I’d like some of your drugs. Rebunking Claim: If you don’t think Harambe’s death was political, I’d like some of the drugs you’re taking. Harambe was put down to protect the safety of the young child that fell into the gorilla enclosure. The foreign power, probably China or a country other than China, figured the death of a prized gorilla would lead to revolts and riots that would bring about the end of the United States.ĭebunking Claim: No. Where truth is always on sale and everyone gets shot.Ĭonspiracy Claim: Harambe’s murder was brought about by a foreign government to stir up controversy during the already tumultuous 2016 Presidential Election. Only $5.47 a bottle at Home Depot.īut forget Home Depot. I was desperate.īy examining the claims of conspiracy theorists, debunkers, and then rebunking with Harambe’s own thoughts by allowing him to use me as a writing vessel, we’ll see if we can’t get to the bottom of this sticky situation. Nobody’s gonna go to prom with a gorilla killer. Was Harambe’s murder warranted? Was he truly a threat to the child or did Harambe just want to form a gorilla-human friendship that would be so heartwarming that even the folks at Pixar would be like, “Jeez, cut it out,” before cashing their billion dollar weekly paychecks? What’s that three-year-old up to now? What will it be like when he finds out he basically killed a beloved gorilla? Probably bad, right? Glad I’m not that kid. So much monkey business that it’s gorilla business. Zoo officials claim Harambe was sniped like Kennedy in order to protect the boy, but many conspiracy theorists claim monkey business is afoot. A three-year-old boy fell into a gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo and a 17-year-old Western lowland gorilla named Harambe was shot and killed. On around 4:00 PM EST, the shot heard round the zoo was fired.
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