But the ones you can call on at 3 am FOR WHATEVER REASON, those are your friends. This book is provocative, honest, couched in research, and reassuring with the key being the need to know and fully understand your own needs (Bowlby and attachment even gets a mention) in order to generate quality time shared with others.Īnd no. Then,the author asks you to assess your own role in these relationships and, asks- what is happening? As in why are you friends, pointing out how relationships can run their course OR be situational as in school friends or Mom friends. This book is not about breaking up with your friends, but what it narrows in on, most profoundly- is what you look for in a friend and then challenges you to assess if the array of people in your circle, contribute to this or- don’t. I would recommend it to friends only for the aspect of self-reflection that the book guides you through. Overall, I did gain a better understanding of friendship and how to become more connected with the friends in my life. Three, there were some points where the author tried to connect friendship with social justices issues like micro-aggressions that really didn’t come across well and felt minimizing to those deep rooted societal issues. Also, women, like myself, have friendships with not only other women but also men and non-binary people so I found the continuous reference to only female friends narrow when the concepts mentioned could have easily been written to include all types of friendship regardless of gender. I personally would have loved to recommend this book to male friends, but I can’t do so without giving the disclaimer that it’s written for women. There are men who need to examine their friendships and could gain insights from the concepts talked about here but because this book was written with such a focus on female friendships it closes off that entire group of people from being able to relate. Two, I found that the author really only wrote this for women with only female friendships which I find limiting in a few ways. Which makes sense as to why this book may come across better as an audio book rather than printed. One, the writing style is very much like the author is talking to you, more conversation and not really academic. With that said there are reasons why I give it 3 stars and not 5 stars. The book really made me reflect and examine how I approach my friendships, how I show up as a friend, and how my friends show up for me. Onto the go book itself, I really enjoyed the concepts talked about throughout the book and the homework section at the end of the chapters. Great concept for a book, I personally picked it up because I happen to have been going through a friendship break and the title clearly seemed relevant to what I’m going through. With a wealth of revelations and tools―including the Six Pillars of Friendship, the Friendship Diagnosis, and sample scripts to help facilitate the hard conversations― How to Break Up with Your Friends is the relationship book you didn’t know you needed. Have the courageous conversations needed when it’s time to “break up” with others.Learn how to make new friends as an adult.Rupture and repair―be ready when a valuable friendship hits the rocks.Recognize the signs you’re in a toxic friendship and stop fearing constructive confrontation.Know the main types of friendships we form, the roles they play in our lives, and how to deepen the most essential ones.Explore the importance of having healthy friendships―including the many ways we’re influenced by our friend groups.Understand how your earliest friendships impact your current relationships.Take stock of those currently in your life so you can see exactly how you and your friends are serving each other.With clear-eyed guidance and a good dose of humor, Erin will help “Yes, you’ll learn how to detox yourself from friendships that no longer nourish you, but you’ll also explore the astounding importance of modern friendships and how to be a truly great friend yourself.” “This book is about so much more than going through your contact list with a machete,” writes Erin. In How to Break Up with Your Friends, celebrated life mentor Erin Falconer provides a refreshing guide to modern-day friendships―along with deeper principles, assessments, and practices for nurturing them. As a result, we end up accepting mediocrity in ourselves and our friendships far too often. Yet even though we pride ourselves on our large networks, we tend to be afraid of rocking the boat and asking for what we really need. Create space for meaningful connections and set healthy boundaries with this much-needed guide to modern-day friendship.įriends hold an especially valuable role for women―few relationships have such power to fuel us and inspire our joy.
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